Back...

After giving up blogging for quite some time, due to the craziness of our lives at this moment, I decided that there is too much swirling through my head that just has to come out.

I clicked on the blog to find that the last post I wrote was when we were getting ready to leave for FL last February. Funny because we JUST got our tickets again for this coming February and are all really psyched!

Michael and Ryan's soccer season just finished yesterday. They went undefeated only allowing three goals to be scored on them this season. Pretty good since Michael was our goalie and it was his first year in that position!

Dallas has the opportunity to play on a home school soccer team in Schroon Lake. It has been a great experience for him so far. We still have a few more weeks until that one is over, but we are really enjoying watching the kids play.

Our biggest news this year has been the adoption (FINALLY!) of our daughter! Girly is now ours and her name is Sabrina! I couldn't post that while she was only foster. June 22, 2010, God chose to make us the proud parents of an 8 year old beautiful little girl.

Anyone who has followed some of my past posts (most of which I deleted so I could make this public) knows it hasn't been an easy journey. We still have struggles and trials, but God is good and she is moving along and doing great!

My baby is turning 7 tomorrow. Hard to believe. Still home schooling him. He is doing great.

I will be adding more posts soon!

Leaving...on a jet plane!...

I am writing this mostly for journaling purposes, but if you care to read... :)

Can't believe it is finally here. We are all super excited to take a vacation like this. We have never done anything like this with the kids, nor did we ever think we would. I always said I would NEVER take my kids to Disney.

Why? One, because they don't have TV or tons of friends who have gone, so the desire wasn't there. They get excited when we take them to Lake Placid or Albany for the night and the hotel has a pool... and Two? STINKIN' EXPENSIVE! We always said that if we were going to spend the money it would be on a missions trip. Aparently, the LORD thought we needed this because it wasn't in our planning.

Growing up some of my BEST family memories were our vacations. My dad always made sure we got away. Guess where we went one year? FL. Oh, and Disney. I remember it like it was yesterday. So. Much. Fun.

We have been blessed! Over and over with regards to this trip. This really ISN'T something we ever thought we would do, but the LORD (and I am not sure why. I guess because He is so much bigger than I even can imagine and have trouble thinking He would care to bless us in this way. What a dumb thought.) ... but He decided to bless us in this way and worked it all out.

As I sat with a friend who had just taken a trip there she explained the "ins and outs" to me I could feel myself getting more and more excited. The kids sat around the computer the other day watching videos of the parks (Disney and Sea World) and I have to say, I haven't seen even Dallas that excited in a long time. I was getting teary-eyed thinking about it and watching their excitement. I know, I'm a dork.

I am nervous, I have to admit. I am a Speculator girl. This is my comfort zone. Going to PA is a stretch. I make myself do it. I am not scared of flying, just nervous at the thought of doing something none of us ever do. Fortunately, the kids are just plain excited so I just am going to sit back and enjoy watching them have fun!

I also HATE the heat. With a passion. It makes me draggy. I prayed for weather in the 60's and sunny. Guess what? THAT IS THE FORECAST!!!! Matter of fact, all three days in the parks are low 60's and sunny. HEHA!

We are also blessed to not only stay with our good friends in FL but to have our friend Daryl who we miss like crazy come and spend the week with us. She is going to the parks with us and just hanging out.

So...we will have lots of pictures when we return. Lots to tell. If anyone DOES read this (I only have like 10 people who can even get onto this blog!) pray for my eye please. It is really bothering me and PRAY for patience. I have a girly that canNOT control herself when excited. I know it is coming though, so I have already been praying. :)

Well...

Lots going on here. Counting down the days until we leave for FL! I don't even care how hot/cold it is there. We are going away! Haven't done a vacation like this with the kids, EVER. Such a blessing.

Meanwhile...
We are spending as much time as possible with very close friends of ours who are leaving as soon as we return from FL. They live at our house (almost!) and are such a part of our family that it will be super hard to see them off. We know that they are doing what they feel God wants them to do, but we are still gonna miss them!

Dallas and Michael finished their b-ball season. Now I have my hubby and two older boys home by 3:30 each day. We just invested in really nice hockey skates for all so now the last few days have been spent playing hockey with their dad and friends at the town rink. Although the skates were expensive, we are learning that some things are worth investing in JUST so we can do something with our kids that they love (it helps that we actually love it too). So much more to say about this, but...another time.

Dallas finished the season with 130 points!



Michael did great in b-ball too for his first year. He had several baskets! He continues to "wow" us with his beautiful photos. Here are a few samples:


Ethan continues to want to do whatEVER his brothers are doing. He has been skating too. He and Sabrina are taking ski lessons through the town and doing great. They can both ski independently and Ethan was skiing down the big trails even last year. It will be so fun to all ski together. Sabrina is almost there.

I just started Ethan in 1st grade Math. It looks like that is what he was already doing so we are doing some jumping to figure out where he should be. He is so easy to teach. He is reading everything he can...including things that are just laying on the table....papers, bills, etc. So funny.

Here is a sample of him playing something on the piano. He is so cute.

Van...

My van is sick. Went in last Friday for some repairs and should have been done Saturday.

They broke a part. Won't be ready 'til Tuesday. Never called. Hmmmm.

Today. Ryan and I go to pick it up. They are acting all funny. Still don't know if we got the whole story, but the part (not the one they broke, but the original one we went in to get) is possibly defective. Have to order the part.

Ryan was in a hurry to get back to school or he would have asked more questions. Wish they would call and let us know what is going on. Wonder who has to pay for the extra labor time? Us?

At least we have a very nice vehicle to use in the meanwhile. What would I do without a car for what will be a week Friday? We are thankful for that. I am sure we WON'T be thankful for this bill. Ick.

Such is life. *sigh*

Teenage Blessings...

Dallas, age 14, 9th grade
Michael, age 13, 7th grade

The two older boys are more of a blessing than I can express here. Last night I was reading (yes, you read that right...I was reading) and Dallas came into the living room and started chatting with me. Michael followed a minute later and it turned into one of those conversations you want to always remember.

Laughing, teasing...then serious. Issues going on at school. How they are dealing with them. What some of their friends are doing and how it bothers them.

I love these boys. Can't wait to have them back home with me, but SO thankful for what I see the LORD teaching them through their experience at school.

Are they perfect? HA!

Are they going to mess up? Of course.

Do I stand over them EVERY night and ask God for wisdom? Protection? A love for Truth and A love for HIS word? YES!

I pray so many things for these boys. I feel that I tend to focus on Ethan on this blog because I am with him so much and because he is stinkin' adorable...

...these two are stinkin' adorable too. I LOVE the age the are at right now. So fun. Watching everything we do and imitating how we handle situations. *gulp*

They each have different issues they are dealing with. Weaknesses and areas the LORD is using in their lives, but they are one of the biggest blessings God has given to us.

Michael read through the entire bible last year. Quite an accomplishment for a (then) 12 year old. I knew he was doing it and prayed Eph 1 for him every night. That the LORD would give him the spirit of "wisdom and revelation"...that he might know HIM better!

Both boys are on honor roll. Dallas struggles with Math and Michael with homework in general (he would MUCH rather be playing) :). BUT they are both pressing on. Helps when your dad is a teacher there and knows EVERYTHING that goes on at school. Including all the grades you get!

Dallas is graduation from LPCS this Spring. Can't believe that. Home with me next year. Michael is doing better and better now that he is getting the hang of "school" and what is expected. He has jumped up to the top of his class and is learning that one of his gifts is public speaking. Who knew.

Sorry, braggin' on them a little. Just wanted to. Going to go watch them play b-ball now. Can't wait. Love these boys.

My willingness...

Am I willing? Am I willing to follow Christ's example in Eph 5? (Thanks, Mom.) Live a life of love and give myself up (dying to our desires and what is "comfortable" to us) as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God?

Eph. 5:1-2 Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

Had a rough morning with girly. Praying for wisdom. Little things, but things that reveal the heart. Hers...and mine.

What do these verses mean to me? I will be meditating on them today. Thinking of them in light of our situation here with her. Praying for wisdom as I need to stop at school and talk to her.

This is hard. So glad we are not left to figure this out on in our own wisdom. *shew*

Thanks, Mom for the encouragement. You help renew my hope!

Ethan's Question...ANSWERED!

After talking to my mother-in-law and getting an e-mail from my sister-in-law who both thought the same thing I did (the book was wrong)...I looked it up on Wikipedia and question...answered!

It IS One for the little boy who lived in the lane.

Typing error in the book? Don't know, but I loved that my boy was so bothered by this. He is so sweet.

Ethan's Question...

Ethan is learning Baa! Baa! Black Sheep on the piano. He is obsessed with the words to the song. Here are the words...

Baa! Baa! Black sheep have you any wool?
Yes sir, yes sir,
Three bags full,
One for my master
And one for my dame,
But none for the little boy
That lives in the lane,
Baa! Baa! Black sheep have you any wool?
Yes sir, yes sir,
Three bags full.

The first day we were playing it he just sat staring at me while I sang and played. When I got done he said, "He's mean."

I paused. "Why is he mean?'

"Because he didn't give any to the little boy."

"Oh," I said, "I guess you are right, that doesn't seem very nice."

End of discussion.

Next day...

Ethan says, "Why won't he give one to the little boy? He must still have one bag left over. I mean, where did the third bag go? He said he gave (and now he is reading the words to me) one to his master and one to the dame. He must have one bag still. Why can't he share it with the little boy?"

"Sorry, Ethan. That is a good question but I have no idea." At this point I am laughing because he actually did the math and figured out that he had a bag left over. This is really bothering him.

Today he says, "I still don't like that he won't share with that little boy. Where is the last bag of wool?"

Good question.

I have a question too. Different subject. How in the world does Ethan know how to read contractions without reading it as a contraction. For example...when he sees "it's" he reads "it is" when he sees "they're" he reads "they are". When he sees "haven't" he reads "have not". Do kids just know this? He WON'T read it as a contraction. How does he know that "haven't" is the same as "have not". I never taught him this. He scares me sometimes.

Sugar, Sugar...

Right after Thanksgiving my great friend, Amy, called me and told me she was cutting out sweets until Christmas and wanted me to do it with her. I have done this before for 4-6 weeks at a time and it works great for me.

The longer I do it, the less I crave it. PLUS I drop weight...fast. I don't consider myself overweight, but I carry around "bloat" that must be caused by all the sugar (LOTS of it) that is in my regular diet. I did it just between Thanksgiving and Christmas and weighed in less that I have in over, oh, probably 10 years.

I let myself enjoy all the sweets of Christmas, however...starting Sunday, January 3rd, I am going off all sweets again. I am blogging it here to hold myself accountable. Amy knows as well and hopefully she will help me too.

We leave for FL the weekend of Feb. 12. I am doing it until then. (Just in time for Valentines day...'cause last year I ate the entire thing of candy my hubby got me in 1 1/2 days. Sick. But fun.)

Now, I am not unreasonable. If there is a special occasion that I find myself in (risking being rude after someone has gone out of their way to make us something for dessert...etc.) I can break my rule, but just once or twice.

I feel so good when I am off the sweet stuff (as much as I LOVE IT!). I am sure my husband loves hearing me say, "Look how big these pants are on me!" instead of, "Honey, do these make me look fat?" :)

So there it is. Starting Sunday. Good-bye sweets.

That means two pieces of pie tonight. Hehaw

TONS has been going on here. We had 11 people in the house all weekend.

My husband coordinates our church's men's conference each year. This year there was almost 200 men. Milton Vincent author of The Gospel Primer was the speaker. I had the privilege of spending an evening and morning with his wife. She was so wonderful.

Since it was the men's conference, my in-laws came up for the weekend for my father-in-law to attend and Ryan's mom hung out with me. We also have a friend staying with us (my personal assistant) :) and I have my sister's two youngest (Ella, 3, and Eli, 2) because her mother-in-law just passed away Friday morning. Having my in-laws here was a big help. I wished we had a little more time to chat, but my mother-in-law is very understanding and jumped right in to help.

It has been a whirlwind to say the least.

God is good. I love having a busy life. Full of opportunities to serve His people. He also gave my husband and I a night away last week to one of our favorite places (Lake Placid). It was so relaxing as it is a very quiet time for the town right now.

On top of all of that we don't have our van because we left it with some old guy named Pearl to have a bunch of things looked at. Hoping he takes his time because we are "suffering" using our friends Cadillac Escalade. LOVE. IT. Might be hard to get the van back. :)

My friend who is staying with us is a photographer. She did a photo shoot with our family last Sunday. Can't really post too many pics because my mother-in-law reads this and (sorry, mom) I don't want her to see them before Christmas.

Here are a few cute ones...

Weekend...

We had a great weekend. Very full, very busy, very tiring...but fun. VERY ready for Monday morning.

Friday was beautiful. It has been for the last week (until yesterday). Fall in the Adirondacks is unbeatable. The Ministry Center is breath-taking. I am drawn to that place and want to stay! We were there a lot this week.

Friday morning we were at the barn. We walked the donkeys down to the lake and spent time enjoying the beautiful scenery. We hiked up my mom's mountain (that's what we call it) behind her house to the lean-to and ate lunch looking at this:



After that, we ran home, grabbed girly off the bus and headed out to the boys soccer game. It was so beautiful and soooo much fun to watch all three of them (Tyler plays too) play together. They won 5-0!

Saturday was spent, again, up at the barn in the morning when four of us had the opportunity to ride. Dallas and I rode Pearl (the HUGE spotted draft horse) and Ethan and girly rode Snickers the cute pony.

That's me!

We finished at the barn and I got the chance for a night out with the girls to go shopping and have dinner. We didn't get home until almost midnight.

Last night our youth group did a progressive dinner for our senior citizens in the church. That is always so much fun. We love serving them in that way. It was a great night.

Today is back to normal...we are headed to the barn!

Beautiful Bride...

Ethan: Mom, do you know who I am going to marry?

Me: Who?

Ethan: No, do YOU know?

Me: No, why, do YOU think you know?

Ethan: No.

Me: Ethan, you can pray for the girl who will be your wife someday even if you don't know who it will be. You can pray that she will be a godly woman who loves Jesus with all her heart.

Ethan: I think I will ask all the wives (I am sure he meant potential wives) if they love Jesus and if they all say yes then I am going to pick the prettiest!

:)

Ouch!

I have shingles. IT HURTS!

I am WAY too young for this. It is common in people over 65! I am 38...doesn't it know that?!

I am thankful for my friend who listened when I was complaining about my aching back and my rash...looked at it and said, "That looks like shingles". (She had it last year. She should know.)

She was right! Thankfully if you get on meds within 72 hours of the rash (not fun) it makes it not quite as horrible, but still pretty yucky.

I wouldn't have thought of shingles but I went to see my doctor first thing this morning and she knew right away that is what I had.

Apparently, if you have had the chicken pox, it lays dormant in your body and something can trigger it, mine, they think, was triggered by my Remicade treatment. Possibly.

Anyway, the question that keeps coming to mind is, "How can I glorify my LORD in this situation?" I just want to complain, I want sympathy. (So any is welcome.) :)

We have a meeting with Social Services Friday. It is REALLY messed up (their fault). Long story that I probably can't print here anyway.

Side note: We are flying to Florida this February and weren't going to tell the kids until Christmas. I was so afraid I would slip (and have several times, but no one caught it). RYAN slipped (RYAN!!!) last night and Dallas caught it. I am sooooo excited that he slipped and not me!

I got to tell the rest of them (girly heard with Dallas) and they are so excited. None of them have ever flown before. Now we are all going to be researching and they will be able to help us plan what we want to do while we are down there. We are thinking Disney and/or Sea World will be on that list. Ethan wants to see an alligator....and look down on the clouds.

Back to School...

So yesterday was it. The first day of school for my kiddos. Dallas is in 9th grade (his last year in school), Michael 7th, my nephew, Tyler 7th (the one in the middle), our girly 1st and Ethan is the only one I am teaching at home this year. He is doing K/1.

In a way I was sad to send them off. It is a long day to not see them. In another way, I realize it is a good thing. They need the routine, the challenge, the chance to be with their dad for a good chunk of the day. How many kids get that?

Ryan shared his testimony the other night with a group of people and said he knew he wanted to work with kids since he was in high school. He said he loves what he does and both boys say you can tell by the way he teaches and manages the class. He loves the kids. I love that he is there with the boys.

Ethan and I had a great day. I had to see where he is in math, reading and writing. The things I had intended to start with this year...he already knows. All the sight words in the first (and second) list, the first chunk of math pages in the book, all the money, how much it is worth and all his letters/sounds and reads quite a bit. Don't know for sure where he learned it all but I really think he just pays attention in life.

He is a fun kid and I completely enjoyed our day. It was really quiet around the house. By five I was itchin' for them all to come home (they had soccer practice, which Ryan coaches too).

Girly had a great day. LOVES her teacher and her classmates. I really pray it is a good year for her. I am sad that I can not post her sweet little face. She looked so cute. Here is the outfit I made Saturday for her to wear for the first day.

It has been pretty calm with her lately. We go through a hard few weeks, then we will have a few weeks that are pretty calm. She can still be pretty punky but I guess I can too. :)

So, the "real" part? I am tired. I haven't gotten anything done that is on my "list" lately. As a mom you just make yourself keep going. I don't think my "list" will ever be done. That's okay.

Nice...

Nice...because it was BEAUTIFUL out today.

Nice...because I got some answers today.

Nice...because I saw my oldest stand up for my girly today.

Nice...because I saw my oldest HELPING my girly today.

Nice...because I got to have coffee with a friend and see her new sweet baby.

Nice...because I got to eat dinner at my favorite restaurant with two of my favorite people. (It was super yummy!)

Nice...because two more of my favorite people babysat for us. (Mr. Cef - if you don't get that, that is how Ethan spells Keith - cute.)

Nice...because I am learning more each day about how dying to self and living radically for Jesus isn't supposed to be easy.

Nice...because I have four beautiful children that I have been blessed enough to take care of and a wonderful husband to kiss good-night.

Nice.

Ethan's Theology

Ethan was singing his heart out in the back of the van yesterday. I loved it because I got a glimpse into his little mind and what He really believes about God.

Here are some of the things I heard:

God is AWESOME.
God never changes.
It's a good thing He sent Jesus because we sin.
He is so good.
God is amazing.
We need to have Jesus in our hearts.
We will get to go to heaven someday instead of hell.

(Remember, this is all to music...made-up Ethan-style...there was more but I can't remember it all)

I LOVE IT!

Purpose

I haven't blogged in a long time. I deleted my last blog because I am an all or nothing person and it was taking too much time. No one may ever read this one but me. I don't care...

I just need a place to try to be more consistent in my journaling. There are so many joys, so many struggles and so many questions in parenting that sometimes it is helpful to write them down. Sometimes I need to vent.

I fail daily. It drives me to my knees nightly. I make some good decisions, handle some situations well, train correctly sometimes...but only by God's grace.

So, if you dare, feel free to join me in reading about my struggles and triumphs. There are so many. So many times I want to quit. On top of the normal struggles and triumphs of parenting...we are foster parents. We have been for almost two years. We have only had one placement, but have had her for over a year and a half. It is hard. Everything about it is hard... but good.

We have learned so much through this. When I think of how I stood there talking to my friends before we started this journey and said, "we know it will be hard" I want to laugh. We had no idea just how hard and you cannot prep someone for what it will be like.

Is it rewarding? Sure. Was it way easier before we started this? Absolutely! Do we ever sit and think, "WHAT were we thinking?" YES YES YES~! Are we going to stop just because it is hard...no. way. THIS is what God has called this family to do.

I am now convinced that this isn't just about her and what God is doing in her life, but also about us and what He is teaching us through all of this...and it is mostly about HIM.

It has been teaching me patience for one thing and that I CAN'T control every situation. THAT is a huge one for me.

Here we go...